Can We Be Lovers AND Friends?

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Source: Shutterstock

Being friends with a man is pretty easy, but taking things to the next level can be quite difficult. Going from friends to lovers can either go really well, or really horribly. Some have success with it, especially when the emotions at hand are true and both people are willing and ready to make the big step. Others don’t have such great success with it and it ends with a broken relationship and friendship. If you’re interested in going from friends to lovers, here is some advice to keep in mind

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Source: Shutterstock

Know the risk involved

Like I said before, when going from friends to lovers, things can either go really good, or really badly. You may find that getting into a relationship with a friend is the best decision you ever made. Or you may find that your choice completely ruins the friendship you two once had. Before proceeding with anything, know the possible outcomes and the consequences that may come with them. Is it worth it?

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Shutterstock

Determine your true feelings

Do you just find your male friend attractive? Do you think about him in more of a lustful way or lovingly so? Before you decide to possibly get into a relationship, determine what your feelings really are. If you’re just overly attracted to this guy, possibly ruining a friendship may not be worth it. If you feel as though you love and care for him, that’s a different story.

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Source: Shutterstock

Start sending signals

If you want to be more than just his best female friend, you’ll need to start sending him some signals. Start flirting with him. Maybe try to spend more alone time with just you two. Anything you can do to send those emotional vibes, do it! Just don’t try to force him into a full on make out session or anything else that is a bit overboard.

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Weigh the pros and cons

Turning a friendship into a relationship is a big decision. Is the choice ahead worthwhile? You’ll want to sit down and really weigh the pros and cons of trying to become lovers or just staying friends. You’ll have to determine you think is more valuable to you: a friendship or a possible relationship?

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Pick the right time

Timing is everything here. You don’t want to bring this conversation up if your male friend is in a relationship or if he just recently got out of one. It’s important that you don’t make yourself seem thirsty and desperate for a relationship. Try to get closer to your friend before exposing your feelings.

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Is a future possible?

This goes along with analyzing your feelings, but you’ll really want to figure out if you two really have a possible future together or if the relationship would be permanent. Do you two click really well? Do you share a lot of the same goals and aspirations? Take the important things into consideration as well.

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Have a back-up plan

What if he turns you down? What if he’s unsure? Whatever the case may be, you’ll want to have a back up plan. Figure out what you can say and do to stay friends if things don’t go as planned. You don’t want to be rejected twice.

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Shutterstock

Be willing to make it work

Though it seems easy to go from being friends to dating, the experience isn’t always so simple. The fact is that you two are used to seeing each other in a friendly way, rather than a romantic way. You’ll have to allow yourselves to cross the friend boundaries and work on becoming more physically and emotionally involved.

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Expectations

Going from a friendship to a relationship should include a lot of new expectations. You should have plenty in mind when it comes to dating and what you want out of the relationship. If your friend agrees to try dating, be sure that he knows your expectations. You’ll also want to figure out what he expects from it all.

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Source: Shutterstock

Ask your friends for help

Do any of your friends or his friends think that the two of you would make a cute couple? Being able to go through this daunting task with others supporting you can really make the whole experience a lot easier. Have your friends help you out in any way that they can. You’ll appreciate them even more.

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Take it slow

Don’t expect for your friendship to blossom into the perfect relationship over night. Just like with any new relationship, this one will require a lot of time and a slow pace. Rushing into things too quickly can be detrimental, especially if you two are still trying to get out of the “just friends” mindset. Time is on your side!

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Shutterstock

Focus on communication

Throughout the time of trying to get closer to your friends and expressing yourself, you’ll want to focus on communication. Make sure that you are expressing how you feel while also listening to what he’s telling you. Communication is going to be important if this friendship turned relationship will be able to start off with a solid foundation.

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Shutterstock

Keep an eye out for hints

Before you go out on a limb, take a step back and see if he’s given any hints that he is also interested in more than just a friendship. Has he given you tiny gifts here and there? Does he like spending time alone with you? Does he call you pet names? Guys will drop subtle hints when they want something more.

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